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February 3, 2011

WHAT? FOR ME? WOW!!!

Learning to Receive

It started December 4th, 2010.  It has been a few years since I've cared whether or not it is/was my birthday.  I'm not one who thinks Ones age is significant.  I generally forget my own.  Somehow I keep thinking I'm somewhere in my late twenties...yet at the same time, I've always felt somewhat of an older person that has somehow been trapped in a body many years younger.  It may not make any sense to anyone but me (might be why my acquaintances and even romantic relationships are usually with those 12+ yrs older-haha).  And generally my birthday is just another day.  Except this last one was a bit differant.  And embarked something new for me.

It started with a celebration on Facebook, with my beloved Margo and Adam, Belinda, etc.  I was soooo surprised!!!  I was!  And such kind words that were said to me.  With a few tears of joy and celebration...I opened to the wishes and love my beloved ones sent to me.  I woke in the morning with a beautiful e-card from Michaelena and a wonderful kiss and hug from my son.  Me, for me...I just couldn't believe it!  And the night ended with some relatives gathering at my parents home for dinner.

A day or two passed, and I received an email still sending me birthday wishes, from someone I least expected!  I couldn't believe it.  One, who I had so desired in the past to spontaneously send me wishes..now nearly 10yrs later (now married and with kids) my desire is somewhat fulfilled (God either has a sick sense of humor, or I wasn't specific in my request-LOL).

Leading towards Christmas...I received a beautiful silver, crystal pendant from the wonderful human angel, Pat, who I generally buy my jewelry from.  Since the time of my unemployment, I have not gone to see her or make any purchases from her...yet, she took the time to select a beautiful gift for me!!  For me!  Something, so unexpected and for me...i just couldn't believe it!   Then, right after Christmas, I received a package.  In this package was a gorgeous new journal, and the most amazing Oracle cards I have ever seen.  For me!  I just couldn't believe it.  I feel so blessed, and so grateful.

I went to lunch in Berkeley...and I didn't pay for lunch.  And I actually felt so grateful and appreciative.  It was also the first time that I just allowed another to cover the tab without armwrestling for it.  I never do that.  I always make sure that in no way, I burden anyone.  This to me was also a totally unexpected, wonderful gift.

Last weekend, while I was just starting with my cold/flu episode...I missed a family gathering to celebrate my cousin's birthday.  My son and parents went however.  When they returned home...my Mother handed me a gift from my cousin.  Two beautiful dichroic glass pendants.  The colors and patterns on these pendants are mesmorizing.  So beautiful.  For me!!!  I can't believe it!  A gift for me!


I don't even know how to explain the significance of this for me.  I almost never get gifts, and the few times I do, because someone feels obligated to (like just because it's my birthday-and I usually get some cash)  

For once, the gift giver, Me...is learning how, and opening up, to receive (smile).

I feel ever so grateful...thank you everyone, truly from my heart <3

With much Love and Gratitude,

Carol

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