It's unfortunate I only write on this blog when I'm in pain...but so it is.
A relationship that I perceived as beautiful ended tonight. I am a bit saddend and a little hurt. But what can I do, other than honor the choice of another. Especially of someone that I found to be such a beautiful being. The kindest hearted person I had ever been in a relationship with.
It's difficult in this now moment to quiet the mind and ego. I feel once again like such a failure when it comes to relationships. There is a part of me that I try to quiet, that just screams what I fool I am.
I felt this relationship to be so differant the any of the others. How I enjoyed and took great pleasure in being able to relate with another. To share a bit of my empath skills, a bit of telepathy...and shared some of the my experiences that I have never share with another. I shared a bit of my physical, energetic symptoms...but still held back a bit. I enjoyed and appreciated the seemingly lack of judgement and the sense that I was accepted. I loved his presence, his humor...those amazing eyes, his attentiveness, warmth and beautiful heart. Wonderful soul that I had the pleasure of being in the presence of.
After such a long time, not in any type of romantic or intimate relationship, I felt free again to trust and be open to love.
The relationship came and went so fast. I don't even think it was three months. What a wonderful three months that I shall forever hold in my heart. Be ever so thankful for such an amazing reflection, that filled me once again with hope, that only love is real.
I hope that after the sweet saddness of this ending goes away, I can keep my heart open and not shut it down again. I hope I can keep the mind quiet...to not be so hard on me this time. To not judge me, call me names...and understand, that sometimes I just don't want to understand...even if I'm confused as to why this ended..to just accept what is with a loving embrace.
I thank this beautiful being for participating in my life...even for a short time. I shall miss him, though will always carry him in my heart and conscious awareness...
Much love to you beloved being of light...
Namaste~
Carol
