Learning to Receive
It started December 4th, 2010. It has been a few years since I've cared whether or not it is/was my birthday. I'm not one who thinks Ones age is significant. I generally forget my own. Somehow I keep thinking I'm somewhere in my late twenties...yet at the same time, I've always felt somewhat of an older person that has somehow been trapped in a body many years younger. It may not make any sense to anyone but me (might be why my acquaintances and even romantic relationships are usually with those 12+ yrs older-haha). And generally my birthday is just another day. Except this last one was a bit differant. And embarked something new for me.
It started with a celebration on Facebook, with my beloved Margo and Adam, Belinda, etc. I was soooo surprised!!! I was! And such kind words that were said to me. With a few tears of joy and celebration...I opened to the wishes and love my beloved ones sent to me. I woke in the morning with a beautiful e-card from Michaelena and a wonderful kiss and hug from my son. Me, for me...I just couldn't believe it! And the night ended with some relatives gathering at my parents home for dinner.
A day or two passed, and I received an email still sending me birthday wishes, from someone I least expected! I couldn't believe it. One, who I had so desired in the past to spontaneously send me wishes..now nearly 10yrs later (now married and with kids) my desire is somewhat fulfilled (God either has a sick sense of humor, or I wasn't specific in my request-LOL).
Leading towards Christmas...I received a beautiful silver, crystal pendant from the wonderful human angel, Pat, who I generally buy my jewelry from. Since the time of my unemployment, I have not gone to see her or make any purchases from her...yet, she took the time to select a beautiful gift for me!! For me! Something, so unexpected and for me...i just couldn't believe it! Then, right after Christmas, I received a package. In this package was a gorgeous new journal, and the most amazing Oracle cards I have ever seen. For me! I just couldn't believe it. I feel so blessed, and so grateful.
I went to lunch in Berkeley...and I didn't pay for lunch. And I actually felt so grateful and appreciative. It was also the first time that I just allowed another to cover the tab without armwrestling for it. I never do that. I always make sure that in no way, I burden anyone. This to me was also a totally unexpected, wonderful gift.
Last weekend, while I was just starting with my cold/flu episode...I missed a family gathering to celebrate my cousin's birthday. My son and parents went however. When they returned home...my Mother handed me a gift from my cousin. Two beautiful dichroic glass pendants. The colors and patterns on these pendants are mesmorizing. So beautiful. For me!!! I can't believe it! A gift for me!
I don't even know how to explain the significance of this for me. I almost never get gifts, and the few times I do, because someone feels obligated to (like just because it's my birthday-and I usually get some cash)
For once, the gift giver, Me...is learning how, and opening up, to receive (smile).
For once, the gift giver, Me...is learning how, and opening up, to receive (smile).
I feel ever so grateful...thank you everyone, truly from my heart <3
With much Love and Gratitude,
Carol
